Best Laid Plans by Lauren Blakely

Author:Lauren Blakely [Blakely, Lauren]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, mobi, epub
Publisher: Little Dog Press
Published: 2019-02-20T05:00:00+00:00

21

Arden

There are no windows. The brick exterior boasts a sign for adult pleasures. Inside, the shelves are teeming with battery-operated boyfriends, replicas of penises, vibrating rings, jellies, lubes, and every flavor of edible massage oil under the sun.

There’s something for everyone here, including an aisle with a buzzing corn-on-the-cob vibrator, half a woman’s torso made of silicone, and . . . feet. Feet of all sizes and colors.

Gabe brandishes a pale plastic one. He mimes running the fake foot in front of his crotch. A blush creeps across my cheeks as he pretends to grind against it, then deepens as he fakes his orgasmic pleasure.

I grab the toy. “Stop. You are not getting it on with a plastic foot.”

“I wasn’t trying to get it on. I was trying to get off.”

I laugh as I set down the toy I’ll never buy.

Gabe scans the shelves, and his eyes light up. He points. “We have to go see that.” He grabs my hand and guides me to a bright rainbow braid.

I squint, studying the swath of colors. “Should I put that in my hair?”

He laughs, then speaks dryly. “Sure. Or someplace where the sun doesn’t shine.” He turns it around revealing a silver plug on the other end.

My blush shoots up fifty shades. “And this is why I need help. Because I actually thought—erroneously—that I could buy a rainbow braid for my hair here.”

“Look at it this way. You could start a line of butt plug hair extensions.”

“Yeah, that’s a hard no.” But I am curious about something, and since I have a living, breathing man in front of me, one who’s pretty damn open, I decide to ask him. I tug his shirt, pulling him closer as I drop my voice. “Would you ever want to use one?”

He straightens. “On myself? No fucking way. Now, if you wanted to use one . . . would it be my first choice? Not necessarily. But if you wanted to try butt stuff, I’d experiment with you.”

I don’t want to try butt stuff, yet something about his willingness intrigues me. “You would? Even if it’s not your thing?”

He shrugs happily. “Of course.”

“Why?”

He steps closer. “Because if we were together, my number one goal would be to make sure you were . . . satisfied.” That last word lingers on his tongue, almost like a reassurance. With him, I can’t imagine I’d be anything but immensely pleased.

I blink away the thought. I should not be thinking about how good sex with him might be. That’s not what this sex-ucation is about. I take a breath, survey the shelves, and spot a curve of raspberry silicone, like a stretched C. I raise a hand. “Okay, maybe this makes me a clueless idiot, but what is that?”

We walk over to what’s billed as a couple’s vibrator and study it closely. I can’t for the life of me figure out where each end of this double-ended device goes, or on whom. “How do you wear this? Who wears it?”

Gabe turns it on its side, showing me the instructions on the tag.

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